Monthly Archives: April 2012

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #80: Stacey Powell


Stacey Powell got 16th place on Survivor: South Pacific

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Stacey. She looks like a happy go lucky person, right? Well that picture is pretty misleading. Stacey is one of the most unintentionally funny people in the history of Survivor, at least in my opinion. Among my friends, she is also one of the most quoted Survivors. Her demeanor and style of speaking is just so damn hilarious that even though she was only on Survivor for five episodes, she makes the list.

Stacey started Survivor as a somewhat normal person. Her first confessional was funny, but it was nowhere near her Redemption Island rant. If you want my honest opinion, I think she just started to go crazy. Her voice got more and more unintelligible, and her comments funnier and funnier. The Survivor producers had to love Stacey because she provided all of the necessary sound effects for the first half of the season. They didn’t even need to hire someone to do that in a studio! She did it all the way from the South Pacific. When ever someone said something surprising, Stacey would punctuate there statement (a la Batman) with some onomatopoeia. For example, when Brandon revealed that he was Russell’s nephew, Stacey waved her hands in the air and exclaimed “BLAM!” It is things like this, the little gems, that truly make a Survivor season enjoyable.

I would be remissed if I ended this entry without  this analysis: Stacey got more and more unintelligible as her time on Survivor continued. I was so angry when she lost, because I wanted to see her at the FTC. Imagine an extra 25 or so days for her! She would have been speaking a different language… Here is my call to Mark Burnett:

Mark, make a Second Chances season. Bring back Stacey. Rig it so she is in the Final tribal. I will pay you.

The one reason that Stacey is on this list is because of her “rantics” at Redemption Island. (I’ve devolved to quoting Kat now…). Here are her speeches transcribed in case you couldn’t understand her slurry talk:

 

To Christine: “They acting like it’s all hunky Dory. It ain’t hunky dory”. This one is only funny when read in Stacey’s voice.

This one was said in front of everyone.

“Those Those are liars so red team look out for those right there. It wasn’t a team. It is Benjamin, Albert, and Sophie. But who is the ending two? Benjamin and Albert. But Benjamin is running the team. Benjamin is running the team. Makes ALL the decisions.”  (Jeff Probst asks, “Coach?”) “No Benjamin. Adults call him Benjamin. So I’m not gonna call him Coach. What’s his name? What was his birth name? It wasn’t Coach, it was Benjamin. And you know, they’re children. 26, 22. They go listen to all of Benjamin’s Halloween jokes. Chuckee the Cheese jokes. They want it.” (this next part I can’t understand, but I will try.) “He go off the Lord take them off their feet. ‘Oh Benjamin! It’s so loyalty’. C’mon. Everyday he got a story. I wasn’t buying it. (rolls eyes, fake laughs). No. So they try like yesterday like the tribe was all cahoots. Benjamin let’s give a hug. PSHT! Keep that hug. (points a “gun” in the air) BOOP! For me. Cause it wasn’t real.”

 

 

Writing this speech doesn’t do it justice. If you boycotted season 23, I urge you to go watch the first 15 minutes of episode five. That is about all you need to watch to realize that Stacey is easily one of the most entertaining early boots to ever play the game.

 

I don’t know that there is much more I can say. I can only attempt to describe the amazingness that is this speech, and I have neither the willingness nor the ability as a writer to capture the true genius. Just go watch episode five. Please. For me. I couldn’t find a version of it on youtube, but please dig. Please look. Please find. BOOM. The gauntlet is thrown. BLAM. It has been said.

 

Thanks for reading. Come back soon.

 

Jeff

 

 
Clue to #79: As one of the first generation Survivors (seasons 1-8), this man was able to use his Southern “charm” to get himself far in the game.

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100 Most Entertaining Survivors #81: Stephanie LaGrossa (Palau)


Prepare the cannons. Send me all of the hate comments now. Come on, I’ll take it.

I expect death threats for this one, but I am placing Stephanie LaGrossa from Survivor Palau at number 81 on my list. She got 7th place because Probst convinced Janu to quit. Otherwise, she would have gotten 8th.

 

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Stephanie. She is one of the most liked people in Survivor history. Since playing in Palau (where she is at her most entertaining) she has played twice more, in Guatemala and Heroes Vs. Villains.

Stephanie began Palau as one of the standout characters. Within minutes of the game starting, she had exposed herself as a threat. The 20 people in Palau were given the instructions that on the beach, almost a mile away, there were two immunity necklaces for the first two people (one from each gender) to get to the beach. Stephanie was one of the first two  people to jump off of the boat and try to outswim it. Needless to say, she could not outswim the boat and she began the game with a huge target on her back.

Sensing the fact that she was in danger, Stephanie made an alliance with the seemingly strongest person in the game, Tom. Unfortunately, she didn’t stay with Tom long because of the way that the tribes worked out.

 

So Stephanie is on the Ulong tribe. This is clearly the younger, fitter tribe while Koror is the older, seemingly wiser tribe. All of the smart money in the game of Survivor is going towards the Ulong tribe. While it is expected that Koror will win many of the more mentally taxing challenges, there are many challenges that are purely physical (such as pushing each other off of a platform with pillows). Unfortunately for Stephanie, Ulong loses EVERY immunity challenge. You read that correctly, every single one. In fact, no tribe in the history of Survivor has lost EVERY immunity challenge. (Actually, that is untrue. Ravu in Fiji lost every challenge, but Moto gave up one of their wins to keep their camp.)

 

When it is down to the final 2 on the Ulong tribe, Stephanie and Bobby Jon had to compete against each other in order to see who would be the sole Ulong member. Stephanie wins, and the fans of Survivor have their underdog. Stephanie has to endure one night on the Ulong beach alone, and she eventually gets to join the Koror tribe.

 

All looks dead for Stephanie. She outnumbered 8-1. Tom doesn’t look like he is interested in rectifying his alliance with Stephanie. She does make it through one vote when Koror sacrifices Coby. But all looks lost for her now. Tom and Ian are dominating the challenges, and Stephanie doesn’t have a chance.

Then comes Janu. Or as I refer to her, Stephanie’s saving grace. Janu is tired of the game. She doesn’t want to play anymore, and she mixes no words. I am a personal believer in that Jeff Probst actually persuaded her to quit at that tribal council. The feelings were there, don’t get me wrong. But I believe that Janu wouldn’t have quit without Jeff’s prodding.

What happens next is one of the reasons that Stephanie is one this list. It is the look on her face. She expresses a look of pure joy. There is no filter to it, her face is emoting an absolute and unadulterated happiness.  This is something that is missing from Survivor nowadays. This is something that was missing from Survivor in season 10. No one was playing with their heart. There was no emotion left in the game (keep in mind this is coming off of Chris winning. He is one of the best winners ever, but still). Nowadays, people seem way too entitled. Especially when they bring people back, they have egos. They feel as if they have a right to be on the show, rather than they have earned the privilege. When someone shows that they are thoroughly happy that they have been given the opportunity to be on the show for another three days, it is endearing. I was incredibly happy for Steph, because she was so happy.

Steph was a thoroughly entertaining character throughout the entire season of Palau. Her personality and status of the underdog endeared her to viewers. While she couldn’t make it all the way through the game, she stuck with people and she is one of the people that people remember from Palau. She had one of the craziest rides of anyone on Survivor. Unfortunately, when she came back for Guatemala she was simply there to play the game and not enjoy it. And Heroes Vs. Villains was a total mess. (I was on James’ side. He may not have displayed his message the right way, but his message was correct.)

 

Anyway, that is the story of Stephanie LaGrossa. I hope you enjoyed reading. Please rate and comment!!

 

 

Jeff

 

Clue for number 80: This person didn’t make it far, but she did make a big impression on the viewers. In fact, she is one of the most quoted Survivors that I have seen in the past few years.