100 Most Entertaining Survivors #82: Jud “Fabio” Birza


Fabio Birza was the winner of one of the weirdest seasons of Survivor, Survivor: Nicaragua.

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Fabio. He was one of the biggest “surfer dudes” to ever play Survivor. In other words, he was clueless the entire game, almost to a laughable point. Ok, it was completely to a laughable point.

One of the first shots that we get of Fabio was him hurting himself on the beach. He stepped on a rock or something and hurt his foot. Not soon after he cut himself with the machete and ended up with a nasty looking thing on his hand. The entire time, he just laughed through it. Come to think of it, he was quite a bit like Robb Zbacnik from Survivor: Thailand.

One thing has to be asked about this season is “How the frick did Fabio win?” It is an interesting question that I often ask myself. The obvious answer is that he made enough friends on the jury to vote for him, I’m sure that there is a more complicated answer, however. I just don’t know what it is.

From the beginning of the game, Fabio had a huge thing going with NaOnka, for some reason she just didn’t like him. She wasn’t able to verbalize the reason; just that she didn’t like him. She even stole his socks at one point, which was overshadowed in that episode by Holly stealing Dan’s $1600 shoes. (Btw the most expensive shoes I own are about $30 and I thought that was pretty egregious when I was at the store).

The way Fabio played the last half of the game completely confused me. He somehow made it through without an alliance whatsoever. This made it even more entertaining when he won, because it surprised everyone that he even made it that far. The obvious reason that he made it that far was because of his immunity streak. He had to get to the final 7 before he got to this point, however. He was able to navigate the first part of the merge without an alliance whatsoever. Even once he started his immunity streak, he had no alliance. He made it to the final 7 and voted alone. He made it to the final 6 and turned down an almost guaranteed final 3 spot. At the final 5, he voted off Dan in order to attempt to save his own hide, and at the final 4, the other 3 people would have almost assuredly voted him off if it weren’t for immunity.

Whatever the reason, he did it. He even won the necessary 5 jury votes, one of which was from NaOnka, his supposed arch enemy. I am still confused by this jury decision. Moreso than any other I would say. If I were on the jury, I would have voted for Sash to be honest.

A lot of people don’t know this, but Fabio is also an expert on Freud. This came out at one of the tribal councils where Sash made a “Freudian slip”, which meant that Jeff needed to give a psychology lesson. But alas, Fabio already knew this material, and he explained it to the Survivors.

Fabio is arguably one of the most fun-to-watch winners of all of them. I loved watching him. Everything, from his voice to his performance at Tribal Council’s, was entertaining. I would not be surprised if we saw Fabio back on Survivor. While everyone was surprised he won, no one was disappointed.

 

Jeff

 

Clue to #81: This person was the best of the absolute worst.

 

 

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