Monthly Archives: March 2012

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #82: Jud “Fabio” Birza


Fabio Birza was the winner of one of the weirdest seasons of Survivor, Survivor: Nicaragua.

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Fabio. He was one of the biggest “surfer dudes” to ever play Survivor. In other words, he was clueless the entire game, almost to a laughable point. Ok, it was completely to a laughable point.

One of the first shots that we get of Fabio was him hurting himself on the beach. He stepped on a rock or something and hurt his foot. Not soon after he cut himself with the machete and ended up with a nasty looking thing on his hand. The entire time, he just laughed through it. Come to think of it, he was quite a bit like Robb Zbacnik from Survivor: Thailand.

One thing has to be asked about this season is “How the frick did Fabio win?” It is an interesting question that I often ask myself. The obvious answer is that he made enough friends on the jury to vote for him, I’m sure that there is a more complicated answer, however. I just don’t know what it is.

From the beginning of the game, Fabio had a huge thing going with NaOnka, for some reason she just didn’t like him. She wasn’t able to verbalize the reason; just that she didn’t like him. She even stole his socks at one point, which was overshadowed in that episode by Holly stealing Dan’s $1600 shoes. (Btw the most expensive shoes I own are about $30 and I thought that was pretty egregious when I was at the store).

The way Fabio played the last half of the game completely confused me. He somehow made it through without an alliance whatsoever. This made it even more entertaining when he won, because it surprised everyone that he even made it that far. The obvious reason that he made it that far was because of his immunity streak. He had to get to the final 7 before he got to this point, however. He was able to navigate the first part of the merge without an alliance whatsoever. Even once he started his immunity streak, he had no alliance. He made it to the final 7 and voted alone. He made it to the final 6 and turned down an almost guaranteed final 3 spot. At the final 5, he voted off Dan in order to attempt to save his own hide, and at the final 4, the other 3 people would have almost assuredly voted him off if it weren’t for immunity.

Whatever the reason, he did it. He even won the necessary 5 jury votes, one of which was from NaOnka, his supposed arch enemy. I am still confused by this jury decision. Moreso than any other I would say. If I were on the jury, I would have voted for Sash to be honest.

A lot of people don’t know this, but Fabio is also an expert on Freud. This came out at one of the tribal councils where Sash made a “Freudian slip”, which meant that Jeff needed to give a psychology lesson. But alas, Fabio already knew this material, and he explained it to the Survivors.

Fabio is arguably one of the most fun-to-watch winners of all of them. I loved watching him. Everything, from his voice to his performance at Tribal Council’s, was entertaining. I would not be surprised if we saw Fabio back on Survivor. While everyone was surprised he won, no one was disappointed.

 

Jeff

 

Clue to #81: This person was the best of the absolute worst.

 

 

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100 Most Entertaining Survivors: #83 Dave Cruser and Sherea Lloyd


This is the first dual-entry. That is, this is the first entry where two people are congratulated on being entertaining only because of each other, and for no other reason. Dave Cruser got 13th place on Survivor: China. Sherea Lloyd got 11th, just missing the merge.

       

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Dave and Cirie… I mean Cassandra… Crap! I mean Sherea!
Dave and Sherea were wonderful characters on Survivor, because they fed off of each other so well. It wasn’t intentional, but it sure was entertaining. It seems like the fighting between them began on day 1. They were always bickering about doing work vs. saving energy for challenges. I firmly believe that Dave is in the right on this argument (That work needs to be done). But I don’t believe that you need to do as much work as he was insisting on. I also hated the way in which he argued, which made me root for Sherea all the more.

The two constantly argued about the mud bricks and the fire and the challenges and the water and the food and the list goes on and on. At one point, Dave had left a bucket of shells out so he could take them home to his family. Sherea, being Shereatastic, decided that she didn’t want them smelling up her camp. Thus, she tried to throw them back into the water, which gave us a hilarious scene that I think everyone should watch. It starts at :50 in this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPbaZ-2sbcQ.

 

Words cannot describe…  This clip basically describes the relationship that existed between Sherea and Dave. It was basically both of them acting like young children, while everyone else in their tribe just watched… and presumably laughed.

Overall, I did not find Sherea entertaining. I did not find Dave entertaining. I only found the wonderful combo of Sherea and Dave together entertaining. Survivor casting did a wonderful job on this one, and then they put them on the same tribe. Bravo to Burnett and Probst (and CBS)…

If you haven’t watched Survivor: China, you need to go to itunes right now and buy it. And watch it. It is one of the best seasons of Survivor yet. I personally would put it in my top 3 or 4 seasons. Sherea and Dave make the beginning of this season enjoyable, while Amanda’s amazing FTC performance makes the end laughable.

 

 

Thanks for reading once again, please comment and enjoy.

 

 

Jeff

 

 

 

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #84: Rory Freeman


Rory Freeman got 10th place on Survivor: Vanuatu

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Rory Freeman. He was on the 9th (and possibly best) season of Survivor. He didn’t have a long stint on the show, but he definitely made an impression on the viewers. Rory was a very loud person, and for some reason was disliked by most of the people on the show.

 

Rory was a founding member of the “Fat 5.” This was the five men on the original Lopevi tribe that were deemed as the “older” and thus “weaker” men. Seeing as there were five of them, they decided to get rid of the physically superior younger men. No wonder the women ran this game like no other until the end… The “Fat 5” successfully disposed of 3 out of the 4 younger guys, but then they hit a road bump. They had to switch up the tribes, and the “Fat 5” was split 2 and 3. Rory and Bubba were on the Yasur tribe and Chris, Sarge, and Chad were all on Lopevi. Bubba was quickly disposed of on the Yasur tribe, leaving Rory and a bunch of women. Thus, our story begins.

 

Rory Freeman is a man alone. He is on a tribe with five women (which is something that no man wants, believe me.) The five women have a pre-existing relationship and Rory’s only friend, Bubba, was voted off unanimously by the women. Rory needs something. He needs an in with the women. This could be small, but there had to be something. Some might say all he needs is a “little crack.”

 

Rory is doing everything wrong. First, he yells at the women, threatening to burn down the camp if they don’t give him a chance at making it through the next vote. He is also a huge whiner. All of these things are a recipe to piss off women enough to make them not want to keep you around an island for much longer.

 

But alas, Rory does find his “little crack” and he exploits it. He watches a fight explode between Eliza and the “older folk” of Yasur. He is then successfully able to navigate his way through this crack and emerge on the other side victorious (please try to get that out of your head). Lisa is voted off, and Rory makes the merge.

 

Rory is an incredibly entertaining character. First, anyone who watched Survivor: Vanuatu knows why the above was funny. However, convincing those of you who didn’t watch the season might be a hard sell. Rory was just an entertaining guy, and I advocate that everyone read Mario Lanza’s number 47 entry about Rory and his “little crack.” If anyone can convince you, it is Mario Lanza.

 

Rory was just an overall entertaining guy. From what I have heard of Survivor: Vanuatu,  Rory just might be the most annoying person to ever make the merge. According to a podcast with Chris, everyone hated Rory, especially Sarge. However, we didn’t see any of this on the show because of the glory of editing. What we saw was a Rory who was the whitest black man I have ever seen on TV. He is from Iowa, which is interesting because I am from Nebraska and therefore should hate him. (Nebraska/Iowa is a lot like NYC/Jersey).

 

Rory was actually my pick to win (WAIT BEFORE YOU STOP READING GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN). I came into Survivor: Vanuatu halfway through the season because I wasn’t allowed to watch Survivor (Look at the previous entries to get that story) until that time. I may be wrong, but I came in about the time that Rory was in an alliance with the women to get rid of Lisa. With the exception of Eliza, I didn’t see anyone else in that alliance that I liked enough to make them my pick to win. I didn’t realize the relationship between the women when I came in, I thought that Rory+4 was a well-established alliance at the time. Imagine my surprise when Rory was gone at 10th place.

 
Well, that is that about Rory. There is no adequate way to explain the awesome that is Rory Freeman. Please watch Survivor: Vanuatu if you haven’t and you will see what I am talking about.

 

Thanks for reading and please comment.

 

Jeff

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100 Most Entertaining Survivors #85: Ami Cusak


Ami Cusak got 6th place in Survivor: Vanuatu, one of my favorite seasons.

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Ami. She was the leader of an all-girls alliance that made it all the way to the end of the game. OH WAIT…with one exception…. But more on that later.

Ami began the game on an all-girls kick. She was convinced that she needed to take a group of women to the end of the game, simply because no one else had done it before. While Ami was all gung-ho about the girls alliance, she was more than willing to get rid of Lisa instead of Rory simply because he complained a bit (There was more, but that explanation really sums it all about up.)

Ami’s personality is really the reason that she was put on this list. She seemed fun-loving and truly nice (with the exception of hating all men (apparently)). She was nice all throughout the season, and I think that she would be cool to hang out with (if I was a woman).

Ami’s insistence on the all-woman’s alliance bordered on the tragic. She was even willing to vote for Twila (that is right, Twila) for the 1 million dollars at the end. It seems a bit ironic that this is the case, because in season 16, half of the (not-yet-formed) woman’s alliance voted her off after she tried to flip on them (with Tracy).

Back to the “But more on that later”: Chris was successfully able to infiltrate the women’s alliance. That is funny right there. When I write the entry about Chris, I will elaborate on this beautiful comeback.

While this is not the longest entry, I beg your forgiveness. I have a few reasons. The first is that Ami’s personality is what made her quite entertaining. The second reason is that I am trying to keep it short because I made you all read too much on the entry for Yul. Sorry about that.

Thanks for reading, please rate and comment.

Jeff