100 Most Entertaining Survivors #94: Gary Hogeboom


Gary Hogeboom got 7th place in Survivor: Guatemala.

Gary Hogeboom was arguably the first famous person to ever play Survivor. This is because he was the quarterback of Dallas Cowboys for five years. (He also played for the Indianapolis Colts and the Phoenix Cardinals for a while.) Also, yes. He is so old that he played for the Cardinals when they were still the Phoenix Cardinals.

Some people would argue that being famous on Survivor would hurt someone. I mean, look at Jimmy Johnson. ¬†But Gary Hogeboom wasn’t famous enough to be recognized by anyone but the biggest sports buff on the planet. Therefore, he hid his identity and called himself Gary Hawkins, a landscaper. Here begins the story of the ninety-fourth most entertaining Survivor in the history of the game.

For those of you who don’t remember, this is Gary Hogeboom. He received 7th place on Survivor: Guatemala.

Gary’s story would have been nothing of consequence if it hadn’t been for Danni Boatwright. If it hadn’t been for Danni Boatwright, Gary’s story would have ended on day one. He would have told us, the viewers, that he was actually Gary Hogeboom, and it would have been humorous, but no more funny than any single moment in Survivor history. But fortunately for us, Danni was there.

Danni Boatwright was a sportscaster in Kansas City. She immediately recognized Gary, but luckily for him, she was on the other team. Her team knew that Gary was a quarterback and Gary’s team thought he was a landscaper. It seemed like, for a while, this was how the game was going to go. But then there was the challenge that alerted Gary to the breach in his identity.

The challenge was a tug of war in the mud. The game was a complete deadlock, and Gary and Judd were fighting it out in a one-on-one battle. While Gary and Judd were fighting it out in the mud, Danni yelled the one thing that made Gary know that his plan wasn’t falling into place.

“C’mon! He is the quarterback, you are like the linebacker!”

All it took was that one sentence and Gary knew that his entire game was in jeopardy. From that point on, he had to mitigate the fact that he was actually famous quarterback, Gary Hogeboom.

When the tribes merged, he had to defend the fact that he was, in fact, Gary Hawkins.

Danni knew the truth, of course. But she eventually acquiesced. He ended up being voted out, not because of who he was, but because he was in the minority.

Gary didn’t only have one shining moment. He was also the first person to use one of Survivor’s most debated twists, the hidden immunity idol.

The story is set up like this: Judd has gotten a clue to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol. The clue said that the immunity idol was not on the ground. Judd decided to “help” all of his fellow players out and tell them “The clue is definitely by far on the ground.” The way in which he said this meant that almost assuredly he was lying.

Gary catches him, later that day, looking for an idol in the trees. It is incredibly funny as Judd does almost nothing to hide the fact that he is looking in the trees. Gary immediately has a confessional that makes Judd look like a complete idiot, and we all laugh.

There you have it. It isn’t the longest entry on this list. But Gary provided us with tons of entertainment that I will always remember.

And remember, he is NOT Gary Hogeboom. Yes he may look like him, yes he may be the same age, yes he may be Gary Hogeboom. But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is this man actually Gary Hogeboom.

Thanks for reading, and please leave comments.

Jeff

Clue to #93: This guy had one of the most painful-sounding injuries in the history of the game.

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